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Report

Santa Rides Again

Neither flood nor frost was going to stop Santa from keeping the most important event in his calendar (apart from Christmas Eve, of course) – the annual Kidical Mass Reading Christmas ride.

Our boys were super excited getting ready for the ride – this year I left plenty of time to duct tape the all important elf hat onto Mr 5’s helmet. These days Mr 5 prefers to ride his own bike on our rides – his grandfather usually comes along to ride next to him since his Dad leads the ride and I (his mother) am our back marker. However, this year as in previous years the boys’ grandfather was nowhere to be seen during the ride. He showed up too late, unfortunately just missing Father Christmas. So Mr 5 got to help lead the ride on the triplet with Dad and Father Christmas. And a very happy elf he made, with lots of waves and smiles for the people we passed.

And there were a lot of people that we passed. Though flood wasn’t going to stop Santa, it had a pretty good go. After days of heavy rain much of King’s Meadow was more than a foot underwater, and the river was fast and high and cold. Even more than usual we didn’t want to run the risk of a kid falling in so we changed our plan and routed the ride pretty much immediately away from the river and through the tunnel under the station, through town, along the Kennet by the Oracle (which has substantial fences and a much higher bank) before ending at Forbury Gardens. Going through the centre of town we got lots of smiles and waves from people out doing their Christmas shopping in the very festive town centre (made all the more festive, of course, by the presence of Santa on a bike and the jingling of bike bells).

It doesn’t escape my attention that watching for flooding on the route has become something of a feature of planning Kidical Mass rides – much of our child-friendly cycling infrastructure in Reading is river-adjacent, which can present a problem if you don’t have alternative routes for getting around. I felt for the family who showed up with wet socks because they came on bikes and had to cross through some rather deep puddles to get to the start of the ride! We will keep pushing for the day when the cycling network in Reading is more resilient to heavy rain and ice. We need to get there if we want cycling to be a viable primary transport option for meaningful numbers of people.

At Forbury Gardens the kids had a chance to mingle with Santa, who handed out presents to help make the kids more visible in poor lighting – many thanks to Reading Borough Council for their financial support of that project, which has also enabled us to provide lights to some secondary school children who were in need of them. Santa enjoyed congratulating the kids on their riding skills as he handed out the presents, and then slipped away just before the kid’s grandfather showed up to hear all about it.

We are all looking forward to the ride on Sunday 19th January, which will be on the university site and then followed by our Annual General Meeting, where we will reflect on what has been achieved last year and plan for what can be done next year. Until then, we hope you all stay safe and enjoy riding your bikes. From your Kidical Mass Reading team:

🎅🏻🎄🎁🌟

We wish you a Merry Christmas!
Nous vous souhaitons de joyeuses fêtes!
We wensen jullie een vrolijk kerstfeest!
Поздравляем с Рождеством!
Віншуем з Калядамі!
Feliz Navidad
Feliz Natal

Categories
Ride

Wizards, witches and wheels

Kidical Mass Reading celebrated Halloween with a themed ride on Sunday 20th October (it was a little early because we have realised that running rides in the school holidays and expecting people turn up is a Fools Errand). We invited attendees to come in costume if they wished (not was also fine of course, and our favourite characters are always families who ride bikes).

Our own boys have recently discovered Quidditch and wanted to dress accordingly. My husband (and Kidical Mass ride leader) Simon enjoyed hunting for a branch and some sticks with Mr 5 (the artist previously known as Mr 4, he recently had a birthday) to make a “Nimbus 2000” and we had great fun (if slight time stress) working out on the morning of the ride how to attach it to the back of the tandem so it looked like Mr 5 was riding it. Simon sportingly agreed to wear a golden snitch picture on his back so our young Seeker could be following it, and Mr 8 (who also recently had a birthday) had a hoop on a stick on the back of his bike to form a Quidditch goal so he could be Wood, the Gryfinndor keeper.

🧙🏻‍♀️🧹

I recycled an idea from the very first Kidical Mass ride in Reading and went as Room on the Broom (this time with soft toys instead of children as passengers), because I still think that’s the most appropriate costume for a long tail cargo bike.

Despite our persistent badgering of the marshals who work in weather forecasting (there are six of them, which you’d think would be enough) the rain was only due to clear up in time for the actual Kidical Mass ride, and not for the marshals recce beforehand. Nonetheless, the marshals managed to accomplish their most important job on the recce, which was to place the ramps that would mean we could take the ride around the barrier blocking the end of Chestnut Walk (we continue our campaigning work to get a permanent workaround put in here, as it’s otherwise such a lovely car-free route into town).

With the rain we were worried turnout would be very low, so we were delighted that 34 people came along. Probably the most gratifying were the granddaughter-grandfather team who showed up. He informed us that he had been told they were going to come along that afternoon as she had enjoyed the last ride from the cycle festival so much. We were delighted to have them both!

🚲 🛴

We also had a family with a child on a scooter – her bike currently needs some work. They initially planned to only join the first bit of the ride around Kings Meadow, but actually having done that they kept with us for the whole ride. There was some great scooting going on there! I think the biggest difficultly for the scooter was on Kings Meadow itself, with the tree roots breaking up the path. It’s tricky for bikes, but worse for scooters. And to anyone whose bike needs light maintenance we recommend the free Dr Bike sessions funded by the council.

I enjoyed the ride around Blake’s Wharf – the grey day meant that for the first time I noticed that the fountains are lit from underneath. It really is a lovely spot. Coming through town we cut down to Garrard Street from Friar Street rather than navigate the big junction at the top (literally) of Greyfriars road, which was a lot less stressful! The taxi drivers queuing on Garrard Street were very smiley and waved at the children, which boosted everyone’s mood.

🍭🍬

Then back through the tunnel under the station (hooray!) and we arrived at Thames Lido, where our friendly marshalling team handed out sweets to our young trick-or-treating riders. Huge thanks, as always, to the marshals who turn up to make sure the rides are safe and fun for all riders.

By this point the rain had cleared so we hung around for a while whilst the kids played. We chatted about the ride, parenting, and where in Reading we’d love to see additional drop curbs installed (we’re a niche interest group, I know). After that, Kat (official spokesperson), Samuel (treasurer and webmaster) and Jeroen (bike statistics mastermind) headed off to work on a presentation to Green Party members, on what getting around a city CAN look like if there are the will and resources to make bold changes.

If you’d like to be part of demonstrating that there is a desire for change in Reading (oh, and also if you’d like to ride with Father Christmas) then do come and join us for our Christmas rides. We’ll be meeting:

  • in Reading: by Thames Lido at 2pm on Sunday 1st December
  • in Wokingham: at Elms Fields Playground at 2pm on Sunday 15th December
Categories
Report

Tunnels and bridges

Reading Cycle Festival is an event we will always be happy to have in our calendar. It’s full of people who agree with Kidical Mass Reading’s aims – to campaign for better cycling infrastructure, build friendships between cyclists and to have fun on bikes. It was also full of people who were keen to go for a Kidical Mass ride and we had our biggest ride yet with around 90 riders taking to the cycle paths and streets to, well, campaign for better cycling infrastructure, build friendships between cyclists and have fun on bikes.

It’s been an exciting time for cycling infrastructure in the town centre, with both the rebuild of the bridge on Kings Meadow and the reopening of the (newly bike friendly) cycle tunnel scheduled for the week or two before the Cycle Festival. Yes, of course we planned a route that used both of these, and yes, of course we had a backup plan (or three) in case the projects overran – but thankfully everything was open in time!

The bridge over the stream on Kings Meadow was previously an area where our marshals had to be on high alert – the railings were horizontal and wide enough apart that an oblivious child on a balance bike could have slipped under. The new bridge is not only better in that it doesn’t have dodgy planks, it also has high vertical railings. Much safer, and much appreciated.

We then went through the Napier Road tunnel and along the Kennet to Reading Abbey. This route is perfect for bikes except for the boom barrier that blocks Chestnut walk. This time we came prepared with ramps so everyone could get round it on the pavement. Our team who attend the council cycling forum have raised this – putting in a drop kerb here would make the route usable for anyone with wheels (bikes, wheelchairs, pushchairs etc).

Then it was through the town centre, down Greyfriars Road and finally – finally! – we were able to take a Kidical Mass ride through the station tunnel as it has reopened and is accessible to bikes. The turn in was a bit tight and some of our recumbent trikes/bikes pulling trailers struggled a little, but I assume that when the building work at the station is finished that problem will go away. The tunnel creates a much needed centrally located crossing of the railway that is suitable for young or less confident cyclists (Vastern Road and Forbury roundabout are not for the faint of heart, unless you routinely travel with a team of marshals). I’m so delighted that the council are taking action on some of the unnavigable pinch points as well as building longer cycle lanes (e.g. on Shinfield Road). Both are needed.

We arrived back over Christchurch bridge to the festival where our boys had the opportunity to try out the ramps brought by Avanti (which they loved), watch the stunt cycling (which they loved) and socialise with their cycling friends (who they love). We had a stand next to Reading Cycle Campaign and near to Dr Bike – it was great to see so many of our cycling friends around.

This blog will not be as frequent this year, though we will continue to post about the rides which of course continue to run as normal. The next ride will be Halloween themed 🎃👻🧙🕸️ at 2pm on Sunday 20th October and, Dear Reader, we would love to see you there.
Come dressed up as your favourite character – or, if that doesn’t appeal, then come as our favourite characters: families who like spending time together on bikes.

Categories
Report

Researchers Riding Round Reading

In May Kidical Mass ran a ride at the University of Reading’s community festival. Over 50 people joined us for a ride through the university site. The campus is a great place to go riding with young children — there is very little traffic on the road, what traffic there is moves relatively slowly and many of the cycle routes are off road. It’s a very safe place to learn to ride and indeed our youngest regular attendee, Blake (aged 3) has learned to ride there this Summer. It was a very easy route to marshal and made for a relaxed and enjoyable ride.

Kidical Mass Reading have other reasons to be grateful to the university too — earlier this year they awarded us a grant which has enabled us to continue running the rides with related activities alongside (including offering bike maintenance to ride attendees).

So at July’s ride we were very pleased to welcome university researchers from the CALM (Clean Air Living Matters). The route went from Palmer Park to Forbury Gardens — back on our very first route — well, almost. There was a small change as the direction of traffic on Abbey Square, the one way road past the library, has reversed. This definitely made the route less stressful with small people (on this route the marshals always do most work on the stretch between coming off the Kennet and turning off Kings Road).

As part of their work, Dr Marta O’Brien and her team offer free assemblies and other resources to schools in Reading to help inform and empower students on these matters. If you have children and you think they would benefit from this please encourage their school to reach out – many schools in the Reading area have already taken advantage of the offer.

The researchers rode with us and sought views on cycling in Reading from the grown ups after the ride. I particularly enjoyed appropriating some of the pavement chalk that the children were using post ride to sketch out the new layout of Lower Henley Road and explain why it has made such a difference to our school run! I was also also able to explain why I am so glad that the tunnel under the station is opening to cyclists soon — the rivers and the train line are some of the biggest challenges for route planning in Reading and having a centrally located child friendly crossing of the latter is a welcome development. We hope to take a ride through the tunnel in celebration once it is finally open!

Going back to the university, and cycling, I made one too many puns about unicycles and the official Kidical Mass Reading route planner/leader (and my husband) has acquired one and is determined to learn to ride it with the idea of eventually being able to lead a ride on one. For now he looks quite funny wobbling about with one hand on the wall. With two small children finding the time to become proficient may take a while, but he’s a determined (stubborn?) man so watch this space for a future ride report featuring him.

This blog and the rides are on hiatus over the Summer so all that is left to say is that the next ride for Kidical Mass will be at 12pm from Reading Cycle Festival on Sunday 8th September – we hope to see many of you there!

Categories
Life on bikes

Get your body moving!

One of the things about being responsible for small people, and liking a quiet life, is that I have become a lot more conscious of what a human body needs in order to function. All of us need sufficient food, drink, sleep and movement. Nine times out of ten when one of the kids has a meltdown and we run through this basic needs checklist, there’s a contributing factor. The kids are even starting to be able to recognise this in themselves, which makes conversations about early nights after difficult days a lot smoother.

If I’m honest, I’m much better at managing this for the kids than I am for myself. When the kids were small and waking up several times in the night, the biggest challenge was sleep (for everyone, but especially the grown ups!). At least as babies they could always be relied upon to nap in a bike seat, a fact we made copious use of during lockdown when we needed to get the baby to nap three times a day, manage our own exercise, and make time to play with the preschooler. It was a constant multitasking exercise in trying to make sure that the ways we were spending our time were meeting different needs for different people simultaneously.

Thankfully now they are older sleep is much less of an issue. In a packed week, the first thing that slips is movement for me. Given a choice between clean clothes for everyone the following day or a walk in the sunshine it often doesn’t feel like much of a choice. This is one of the reasons I’m glad that we are a family that cycles – doing the school run by bike builds a bit of movement into my day every day and helps keep me happy.

I’m grateful too to see the boys starting to set good habits of their own. Young children naturally move a lot through the course of the day, but I can see that as they get older there will be far more demands on their time in terms of school, homework and other focused activities that require them to sit still for many hours a day. Like us, they will have to become a lot more intentional about making time to move their bodies.

Our current school run is about a 10km round trip. When my husband is taking them, he uses an acoustic triplet, which means the kids are able to be active too. I am less strong, and less confident in balancing them if they wriggle, so I ride an electric long tail with a super low centre of gravity, where they are just passengers. But Fridays are special – we have a bit more slack in the schedule and Mr Seven is allowed to ride his own bike to school if he’s ready early enough. We never have to nag him to get going on a Friday morning!

I’m hopeful that when they are teenagers getting about by bicycle will be second nature to them.  We’re taking a multi pronged approach to safety – they will have been riding on our bikes and observing our road positioning for years, we will help them plan the safest way between the places they want to go, and we are campaigning (through Kidical Mass) for better connected cycle routes across Reading.

And, who knows, maybe one day they might have little people of their own and find themselves struggling to meet everyone’s basic needs with a newborn around. Perhaps they will be grateful to find (from the other side) that a bike ride is a great way to get a baby to nap whilst its parent also gets some exercise.

Categories
Life on bikes

Topics to avoid at the dinner table

Somewhere along the line growing up I learned that there are some topics that it’s impolite to discuss in casual conversation – most notably religion and politics.  To those weighty items I would also add that I am reticent to discuss my feelings as a cyclist about road safety. I have STRONG feelings on the subject, and I do not want to subject my (lovely, well meaning) driving friends to a breathless tirade. So, Dear Reader, I thought I’d subject you to it instead (since you are here voluntarily and can leave when you like).

  1. Remember how vulnerable cyclists are. The best visual I ever saw explaining safe passing distances first showed a hand being slammed down hard on a table close to a hammer, and then showed the reverse. 🫱🔨 Only one of those things made me wince, and I bet you would have the same reaction. The cyclist is the hand, your car is the hammer.  Don’t risk our lives just because it feels safe to you inside your car to be that close to us.
  2. Be a bit more chilled out about cyclists when you’re driving. I particularly hate pulling up Peppard Road going away from the Last Crumb. The road there is not wide enough for a car to safely pass a cyclist (you can tell this, Dear Rider, because the separate bike lane doesn’t start until a little further up). The number of drivers who CANNOT BEAR to wait twenty seconds to get to a safe passing place is ridiculous (I am better now than I used to be at road positioning to stop this happening). Yet, when it is other cars (instead of bicycle traffic) causing the (much longer!) delay coming down that road they all manage to queue nicely without trying to rear end each other.
  3. If you are in a SUV and you cannot generally give safe passing room when overtaking cyclists, then get yourself into a narrower car. There’s no need to hog that much of the road. Same goes for the drivers coming down Peppard Road who feel the need to keep one set of wheels permanently in the bike lane, thereby making it unusable. Almost all of our road space is allocated to cars, stop stealing the little that isn’t.
  4. Always, ALWAYS look all around you before pulling away from stationary. It gives me a little mini heart attack every time I see a car lurch forward then stop just before hitting something as the driver clearly decided to do their mirrors check AFTER they started moving. That should never happen.
  5. Stop parking your car on pavements and in bike lanes. ESPECIALLY on Henley Road where all the houses have massive driveways and many schoolchildren commute along the path. If you don’t have the fine control of your car to manoeuvre it safely into your driveway please turn in your driving licence immediately.

I suppose I don’t say these things to my friends because they are all lovely, well meaning people. However, I also suppose every driver who has ever close passed me, or undercut me on a roundabout, or parked their car in a bike lane or on a pavement is probably in most circumstances a lovely, well meaning person with lot of friends. Perhaps if it became more acceptable to talk about these things we would see less of them.

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Report

A community ride

Last weekend the University of Reading held its annual community festival, and Kidical Mass Reading (and our own community) had a stall and ran a ride. We were delighted to be back on the university site, which has a great network of quiet roads and off road paths. In terms of planning how to marshal the rides, it’s definitely the easiest location we use and I would thoroughly recommend it for a weekend family bike ride.

We had hoped that our route would be a able to briefly leave the site to take in part of the new bike lane on Shinfield Road, but sadly some road works popped up a few days before the ride rendering it temporarily usable. That was a shame, as it is a nice bike lane. However, it did mean that the whole route was very low traffic and the drivers we encountered were very patient and calm. Generally traffic tends to move slowly around the university site, which I’m sure is good for everyone’s stress levels!

Leaflets galore

Our stand was shared with Reading Cycle Campaign and Avanti Cycling (who run the Bikeability training in schools). This meant that we had an abundance leafleting material, in addition to the Kidical Mass flyers, stickers and temporary tattoos. We also had two Super Keen preschoolers who were determined to carry on distributing stickers and post ride until they were all gone, despite their parents best attempts to get them to move on towards lunchtime. (Yes, Dear Reader, one of them was Mr 4). The stall was manned throughout the afternoon to continue spreading the word about cycling in Reading.

Dr Bike DrBiking

One of Mr 4’s birthday presents last year was a kickstand for his bike, and whilst we were waiting for the ride to start he decided to use it as a makeshift turbo trainer, balancing the bike on it and pedalling backwards. It isn’t really designed to take that kind of weight so it ended up pointing off at a completely random angle. Dr Bike (aka Santa’s Elf) was positioned next to our festival stand. He is adored by Mr 4, who was delighted to have a repair to request (the kickstand was very quickly and easily realigned). After the ride it looked like there were a fair few people bringing their bikes for tune ups, and it’s great to see that service being used.

Three balance bikes on a single picture!

With the new location came some new faces on the ride, including a few slightly bigger balance bikers – a great sign that their families had done the research on how to teach a child to ride a bike. The stabilisers I remember from my childhood are not currently the recommended approach. They completely change how a bike behaves (you cannot steer by shifting your weight), and when the stabilisers are removed the child then has to relearn how to control their bike. Rather it’s suggested that everyone starts with a balance bike, which steers in the same way as a pedal bike does. For bigger children a pedal bike can be temporarily transformed into balance bike by removing the pedals and lowering the saddle. It was great to have some kids riding in this manner out with us, and they did brilliantly at covering the distance. Scooting a bike is rather harder work than pedalling!

If you missed out on this wonderful community fuelled ride, then please do join us for one of the ones coming up:

  • the next Wokingham ride will be on Sunday 23rd June
  • the next Reading one will take place on Sunday 7th July.
Categories
Life on bikes

A bicycle made for two

April’s ride featured two councillors from different parties riding on our tandem, Daisy. Daisy is the only bike in our family “fleet” that has a name that’s stuck. She’s been with us longest, and, although (or perhaps because) she was bought second hand about two decades ago when we were both fresh faced students, she’s probably the bike I’m most emotionally attached to.

It’s been a while since I rode on her – at the moment “my” seat is usually configured to bring the pedals high enough for a four year old, which means if I tried to ride her it wouldn’t be very comfortable! Seeing two adults on her bought back memories from our earliest days of cycling together, when there were only two of us, and I was rather less keen.

Hilary and Simon looking young and in love

It was the early 2010s. My then-boyfriend had convinced me to try out camping (a first for me, I came from a decidedly indoorsy family). He had found a suitable campsite in Dorset and suggested we get there by a combination of National Express bus and bicycle. I nervously agreed, on the basis that he would be in charge of logistics and route planning.

Travelling by coach with the tandem was an…interesting…affair. The bike had to be dismantled and the pieces wrapped in bubble wrap before it could be loaded into the coach hold, which added a fair amount of time to the journey. Even more interesting, however, was the route between the coach stop and the campsite.

I suppose I should have been concerned when my partner showed me his printed out map and explained his plan. “Look, it’s suggested three cycling routes. The first is long and flat, the third is short and hilly, and the second is somewhere in between. But LOOK there is another route which it hasn’t found which is even shorter so we’re going to do that.”

(Yes, Dear Reader, this is the man who currently plans the Kidical Mass Reading routes. I promise he has developed some common sense in the last decade and a half).

I think my favourite part of the journey (at least now that it’s just a fun story from the past) was when, having just pushed the bike up a long 17% hill on foot, we stopped in a village to check directions for the rest of the journey. The lady looked at us, and, like a character in a sitcom, just shook her head and said, “Ooo, I wouldn’t have come this way.”

Simon and the 2 boys on the tandem

Nevertheless, both we and (spoiler) our relationship survived the trip. We had a lovely holiday, and amended our bus ticket home to go from a stop closer to the campsite. After that experience, any bicycle camping we have done with the kids have been (a) actually glamping, not camping, (b) combining trains+bikes not buses+bikes and (c) had me on my cargo e-bike. But, hey, maybe as the kids get bigger we’ll get more adventurous.

For now the tandem mostly gets use ferrying Mr 4 to and from his Friday afternoon Kindermusik class. But one day, when the kids are bigger, it will be converted back to two adults permanently. I imagine my husband and I will still have a use for good old Daisy long after the kids have left home and the newer, shinier, kid carrying bikes have found a new home.

I don’t, however, think I will ever again agree to a tandem bike camping trip in Dorset.

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Report

Safer Streets Now!

Last weekend’s ride was a 4km loop from the Lido which went through the town centre. Some of our riders were very small, but still very nippy, and we had great fun riding together. After the ride we enjoyed swapping advice on different cycling setups with other families. We had a good turnout from the Reading Cycle Campaign – a group with which we share the common goal of pushing for improved cycling infrastructure in Reading.

Joe Edwards, the chair of RCC, mentioned that he had seen my recent article about Kidical Mass which was published in “Cycle” (from Cycling UK). Cycling UK also shared the article on their Facebook page. The vast majority of responses were enthusiastic and kind, but there were (naturally) a few idiots complaining about kids being “used to make a political point.”

This bamboozled me. The framework in which we all live our lives – what rights and responsibilities we are given, what options there are available to us, what safety we have – is dictated by the politics of our countries. Kids cannot escape the effects of politics. They generally spend a large proportion of their time in government run institutions. They are relatively small and powerless – a teenager who cannot travel safely by bike does not have the option to drive themselves independently. They are the ones who will have to live the longest with the consequences of the action we do or don’t take on climate change. To insist that it is somehow not fair play to make these points is to say quite clearly that you don’t care about them.

So, yes, the families here at Kidical Mass Reading do believe in engaging with our political systems to ask for better for our children. We were therefore delighted to have representation at April’s ride from three different political parties. Labour Cllr John Ennis, who is the lead councillor for climate strategy and transport gave a candid speech at the rally after the ride, in which he asserted that the council is determined to make cycling in Reading easy and safe, and acknowledged that at the moment it often falls short of that goal. He placed the blame largely on the lack of funding available for active infrastructure, and certainly this is part of the story. We were able to offer our thanks that he and his colleagues were able to reinstate (and in some cases improve) the cycling infrastructure on Lower Henley Rd that the council removed earlier this year. Mr 7 used it to ride his own bike to school on Friday, and we are very glad about its return.

Henry Wright, the Liberal Democrat parliamentary candidate for Reading, also joined us for the ride. Speaking to him afterwards he said that he regularly commutes by bike to work, and he sees that the cycling infrastructure we have is not good enough. He too wants to see a bigger investment in making our streets safe.

Cllr Dave McElroy of the Greens and Cllr James Moore of the Liberal Democrats also joined us, and were brave enough to ride together on our tandem (after an initial test run twenty minutes before the ride). As they were slightly wobbly they stayed near the back of the ride, and as back marker I was able to take the opportunity to point out the wonderful placement of my favourite bollard near Forbury Gardens (more of that sort of thing, please).

Having the two of them on the tandem was a great metaphor for the kind of cross party collaboration that we need to see at all levels of government if we want to see investment, action and change on cycling infrastructure.  If you too think this is important then don’t forget to vote in the local and Police and Crime Commissioner elections on the 2nd May – and please do join us for our next ride on Saturday 18th May.

Categories
Life on bikes

The grass is always greener

Here at Kidical Mass Reading we are unequivocally in favour of cycling as a way of transporting children. It’s environmentally friendly, it models and encourages healthy habits, and cycling is simply great fun.

Lots of people think there are physical problems with having children and not owning a car, but products exist to solve all of them that I’ve found. Hills? E-bike. Multiple kids? Cargo bike. Rain? Waterproofs. Distance? Trains. That one journey every two months that is really hard without a car? Car club. (If you have a particular problem that isn’t listed here and you don’t know how to solve, I recommend asking in the Facebook group Family Cycling UK, which is a fount of useful information).

However, and I’m going to be honest here and hope you will think kindly of me, there is one element of car life that I envy. It is the fact that the family car is a portable, private space which is usually in your vicinity. In it you can legally and safely restrain an overtired, overwhelmed and overstimulated small child (yes, I do mean one that’s screaming like a banshee) and get them home, whether they want you to or not. Being a car free family forces us to do more of our parenting in public.

I recently found myself about three hours from home (by a mix of walking/public transport) with two children, including one that was very suddenly FINISHED. Hungry, tired, 50% trying to drop to the pavement, 50% trying to run away, 0% trying to cooperate. He wasn’t being particularly quiet about his distress either (and boy do I love getting those looks from passers by). I had a few hairy moments of wondering what would happen if I couldn’t calm him down enough that we could safely acquire more food, until I remembered that I had a slightly stale sandwich in my bag from the day before. He ate that, and sufficient harmony was restored that I could get us onto a train with more food. All hail the stale sandwich.

On the school run when my youngest is in a particularly contrary mood, he occasionally decides to throw his weight around. He’s big enough now that I don’t feel safe riding when he does this, and I have to pull over and wait until he agrees to stop, or walk the bike home. I’d love to make the consequence of doing this that he has to walk home himself (which I think would be a big enough deterrent if done once to turn that “occasionally” into a “never”), but I can’t safely manage him and push the bike when he’s in that mood so that isn’t an option.

I guess, in theory, I think it’s better for our kid’s emotional growth and resilience that when they hit meltdown we help them to find a way to control it and make a better behaviour choice. In practice, I would sometimes welcome the ability to remove all their choices by strapping them into a car seat.

You might be wondering why I wrote this blog post – I’m partly wondering that too. Overall, I obviously love being a family that bikes. I really, really don’t want to put anyone off. Those meltdowns were easier to handle physically when the kids were small, and they’re rare now the kids are older. I think that’s down to a combination of more adult responses from them, and better planning from us to avoid getting to the point where they are that hungry and tired without a plan for dealing with it (there were reasons, that day, why that wasn’t possible).

I suppose I’m hoping for two things from writing this. Firstly, if you have little ones and you travel in public, and you have had bad days that look like my bad day, I hope you feel a little less alone. Secondly, whether you have little ones or not, if you see parent carrying a screaming toddler like a potato sack (whether that’s towards a bike or a car), please be kind to them. They’re having a really awful day.

P.S. we know travelling in a car with a screaming toddler is also hard. Actually, we know some parts of parenting are just hard, whatever options you choose.